As we make our way home from South Carolina after vacation, reality begins to settle in for me. I’m starting my second year of university, while my heart is in another country. I wish there were a way I could fix that. I wish I could be doing the school thing here while starting my ministry in Honduras.
See, during the last days of June, I spent a week in Honduras. It was instant LOVE. The culture, the people, the food..everything seemed perfect. I have lived in 8 different cities, 12 different houses and several different cultures but I have never felt like I belonged somewhere so much before! When flying away from the beautiful country of Honduras, my heart was literally breaking. That painful, bittersweet, beautiful kind of breaking. I’ve come to believe that when our hearts are shattered, that’s when God works and shows us something new, and that to me is beautiful. So for the past two and a half months, I’ve been living with this crushed heart, but what is incredible is that for the first time in my life, I have a passion for something bigger than me and a dream in my heart. In everything I do, I’m reminded of those beautiful orphaned daughters of God that I got to spend time with and love on, the babies who wanted nothing more than to be cuddled and tickled, and the village people who simply gave even though they had nothing. They are my passion and my heart now. After God, the people of Honduras are on the forefront of my mind. They are my first though tin the morning and the smile I wear as I fall asleep each night. I wish nothing more than to be with them right now. Living as they love, laughing as they laugh and loving as they love.
My heart came alive as I explored their country and learned about their culture. There is so much pain and hurt but there is also so much hope and joy. There is so much room for healing it almost seems tangible. I know God is capable of raising so many hearts to His heart. I can see so much potential and that excites me!
So, I know that God has bigger plans than I can even dream up right now and I am constantly giving my preferences and arrangements up to His will. I try to remind myself that He is going to work in and through me in unfathomable ways.
As difficult as it will be to get back into the school and work routine, and as strangely as it feels that I could return to Honduras long-term sooner than I will completely my degree, I trust in the God who has brought me to this place, who has put this passion in my heart and who has given me this dream. I trust that He will continue to break me down. I trust that He will show me new things about Him and myself. I trust that He will show me the next steps I will need to take in order to go where He wants me.
I’m excited to see where this new adventure takes me in life, because I know it will be to great places and will give me several amazing opportunities!
Enjoy your last days of sweet summer air!