As I sit in my rooms with the lights out except for a few candles and meditate on God’s grace, I have some thoughts to share. Although I believe that it is possible to over-spiritualize things, I also believe it is easier to not spiritualize things enough. Let me explain myself…
Lately I have had this deep craving for intimacy. By intimacy I just mean closeness with a person, whether that be laughing with a family member or deep, meaningful conversation with a close friend. I have been desiring to dig deeper with those I know and to learn from those I don’t. I could not understand why I had this craving, I spent days on end trying to figure out why that craving was in my heart. It was obvious to me that it was there for a reason, because usually it comes in quick flashes only to disappear again, but this was different. This craving still resides deep in my heart. It is a craving for something deeper, something greater than me, something bigger than I can even grasp at this point. As I was trying to understand this intense desire, I kept coming up with reasons for it. Each time I came up with something new and had a fake “ah-hah” moment I knew that God was just shaking his head and smirking because I wasn’t really getting it.
On Friday I went on a mini road trip with my friend Alyssa to go to a random, cheap craft store. We had a wonderful day, full of intense discussion, heart-to-hearts and way too much laughter (if that’s even possible!). Some things happened as the day went on that did my heart good. I had trouble understanding that my heart needed certain things to happen, but I knew right away that it was God’s doing. Today, as I wandered around campus, sat through classes and studied off-campus, some more things happened that continued to do my heart good. Although I still do not understand the craving I have in my heart, I know that as each day passes, God continues to bring along people and events that do my heart good and lessen that craving. Actually, I’m not sure if it is lessening, but instead morphing it into something new and beautiful. God is teaching me in more ways than I am able to count.
I could easily over-spiritualize all of this by saying that every single thing that has happened lately has been God’s doing and that there is a deeper meaning in it all, which is not true. I don’t believe that me scraping my ankle a couple days ago has a deeper meaning (except for the fact that I am an extremely clumsy person). On the other hand, I could underspiritualize all of this by believing that these instances were not of God, but instead simply part of life. I believe there needs to be a balance and a large part of that is discernment. It is being able to tell the difference between better and best, life-experiences and God-experiences. They are both good, but quite obviously one is better. Of course every event and circumstance can have deeper meaning if you look hard enough, but I think that’s a waste of our energy. If God truly wants you to get something, believe me when I say that He will show you! God has a deep desire for us to grow and become more like Him. Philippians 1:6b says, “…He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
I continue to be surprised by these new lessons I am being taught and the amount of growing I have been doing, but I would not trade it for anything. What have you been learning in your own spiritual life?
Have a great night!