“You are too hard on yourself”. I have heard it in reference to school, work, the decisions I make in life and in my spiritual walk. Most of the time it is because of the stress I put on myself during the school year.
Yesterday, I had the wonderful opportunity of having 3 exams and a paper due all in one 10.5 hour school day. (Yes, that is sarcasm). Can you say miserable!? I literally spent every minute of the weekend studying, besides a few much needed breaks. (Thanks to all of you who were lovely enough to interrupt my study sessions!)
To say the least, it was the worst and most stressful day I have had all semester…by far. And I’ve been grumpy, irritable and disappointed, which isn’t me!
Tonight, I discovered I got a C on my psychology exam, which I felt the most prepared for. Now I dread finding out what my other grades are.
As I sat here stressed about all of this, and in somewhat of a panic, I began to see the blessings surrounding me. 1) Honduras and the freaking (for lack of better word) incredible opportunities it holds 2) My incredible friends that surround me with support, laughter and awesomeness 3) The mentors I have had and do have in my life who simple encourage me when I need it and help guide me in this maze called life 4) The opportunity to get a proper education in the first place 5) My bracelets, my ministry, my amazing God. The latter being the most important.
I saw pictures of my bracelets and it stopped me in the middle of my irrational self-talk. This, right here, is not my future. It is not going to be full of exams, lack of motivation, pointless assignments or disappointment. It will be full of laughing children, great opportunities, life, open-hearted serving and most of all, God! It seemed all too normal, it wasn’t an “ah-hah” moment as I normally would write about, but simply a beautiful reminder. It was necessary. Although I’m still stressed some, the emotional turmoil I had been feeling is washed away.
God is good, all the time!
Have a blessed day!