or lack there of.
This is something I have trouble being vulnerable about, even with my closest friends. I grew up with two older brothers, who I surprisingly (not really) did not share the intimate details of my love life with. I never became used to talking openly about boys and all that fancy stuff.
A little bit before I turned 14, I made the decision not to date until I turned 18. I made this decision with a good friend at the time, and we both promised each other this. For the most part, I’m glad I stuck to it. It made my high school years less dramatic compared to most experiences. Of course there were a few times that I was practically dating a guy without the title, but nothing too serious.
As my 18th birthday neared, I had many people telling me that guys would be lining up at my door, and camping on my front yard. Unfortunately, that was not the case (although, I was not expecting that to be true).
A year and half later, and my love life is still sparse. I never really cared about dating all that much, it was never a priority. Hence why I have only been on one date, ever. Legitimate options have not come often either. It’s not that I’m picky, but rather that I have a lot of different passions that I feel my match will be passionate about as well. I think about my heart for missions/Honduras, my unique interest in music, my many quirks, and my love for children.
I know that God has so much planned for my future, and that a someday marriage will be part of it. I know that there is someone out there for me. Someone who will come along side me and join me on this adventure. Someone who will lead and whom I can support. Someone who has as much fire for missions as I do. Someone who will love and worship Christ, more than they will me. Until then, my heart has grown desperate for companionship and intimacy, just over the past several months. Intimacy in the meaning of closeness or familiarity. I desperately want someone to know me deeply. I’m not that comfortable with this desire that has been building inside of me. Yet, I know that it’s God given. As I continue to pray about it, give it back to God and attempt to lessen the intensity, it only continues to grow stronger.
I’m not sure what this desire means. I have a few close friends praying about it, and I invite you to pray with me. God continues to reveal new things to me as I learn about this desire.
Have a blessed day, and thanks for letting me be vulnerable with you!