That was my first response to what my mother had to say this morning.
Since the very beginning of this trip, I have been confused.
My mind has been full of noises and constant confusion.
I had almost made my mind up to stay in the u.s., to work full-time and eventually get my teaching license in Alabama or Tennessee.
I know that I could have had a good life there.
But, I also know that it would not have been the right life for me.
My very wise, and incredible mother interrupted my thought process and said, “I think satan is confusing you – I think you are there for those girls…I believe God wants to use you to speak love on those girls in a way that no one else can. It seems that satan is speaking lies to you to confuse you and have you waste your time trying to figure out your future….God has your future – He is your future…just rest and spend the rest of your trip loving on those girls. I am so proud of you honey – words cannot express how much. I just have felt such confusion from you this trip – and that isn’t you nor is it God – God is not the author of confusion.”
She is so right.
I know this is where I am supposed to be. God has continued reminding me over and over again throughout this trip, and even before this trip. This is where He wants me. To serve these people, love on these girls and abide in Him.
Spiritual warfare is not to be taken lightly. It is something that can destroy a home, a friendship, a person. It can be difficult to see, and often times take someone else to show you where it is.
I am extremely blessed to have so many people who saw this in me over the past week, and who stuck with me through it. Those that asked if it might be warfare, and that I denied, thank you for sticking with me.
As frustrating as it is that I wasted so much time last week thinking and being confused, I know that it is a good thing. It is preparing me for what is to come. It reminded me that what God has for me here is far bigger than I can even imagine. I know this because satan only fights this hard when there is truly something to fight for.
Romans 8:26-27 says, “In the same way, the spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God”
All of these people felt burdened for me, because of the Sprit. God has this plan for me, and others know it, and they could see when I was sitting in the middle of spiritual warfare. I didn’t even know that I should be praying through this warfare, I couldn’t even see it. The Spirit saw it though, and touched others for me, so others could be praying those words I didn’t know I needed to.
I’m simply amazed by all of this…that I could be this incredibly blessed to have such amazing people in my life. My prayer is that I will be able to do the same for others as they face spiritual warfare. My prayer is that God continues to humble me as I walk this journey. My prayer is that others could be touched by this process I am going through. My prayer is that God is working in me to the extent that it overflows to everyone I meet.
We serve a God of great mercy and grace, patience and peace and I am ever so grateful to be able to follow Him no matter what the cost may be.
Have a blessed day!