Over the past several days, I have been driving myself absolutely crazy.
I have been “mock packing” as I call it, and yes, that is exactly what it sounds like! I have practiced packing my clothes for my 3 month trip at least 3 time and am obsessing over the idea of accomplishing ulta-light packer status. I have one checked-bag packed, and am working on my second one.
Tonight I truly got looking at this contract I am signing with Johny in order to teach, and it overwhelmed me some.
I’m going on this crazy adventure, and part of me is wondering if I’m way in over my head.
I think I have been obsessing over packing because it has been the one thing to keep me sane. I find it odd that the one thing keeping me sane, is also the one thing driving me crazy! And the one thing I’m most excited for, also scares the snot out of me.
I honestly feel that what scares me most, is that this is real-life. This is it. I haven’t even finished university, and have been told so often that you don’t enter “real-life” until then, but I’m there already! It proves that God’s timing is far different than ours and that His perception of preparedness is also. If I were the one pushing all the buttons, planning my future down to the second, I would evaluate myself and probably fail the test of preparedness.
I’m too hard on myself, I talk to much, I don’t talk enough, I think too much, I’m not one for commitments, I obsess over how to pack….on and on I could go about the reasons why I’m not prepared for something like this.
And yet God, who knew me before I was even born, looks at me, knows every intimate detail of my life, my heart and my mind and chooses to send me on this adventure. He looks at me, and calls me prepared. See, God doesn’t expect us to be prepared, He expects us to be ready. They seem so similar, but are so incredibly different. We need to be ready to hear His voice, to listen to His calling and to follow Him no matter what. We may not feel prepared, but God knows all of those details, and that’s truly all that matters.
Is there an area in your life that you don’t feel prepared for, but you feel God calling you to? What’s stopping you? If it’s yourself, my prayer is that God would remind you of what an incredible, courageous, and prepared person you are because of Him. If it’s others, my prayer is that you would truly follow Christ, because no matter what you choose in life, people will be right behind, beside and in front of you to discourage you.
Have a blessed day!
May I add that I never write these posts with the intention of lifting myself up, but to lift God up. He has brought me to where I am and made me who I am today. These are simply thoughts and ideas He has placed on my heart to share with you guys! Thanks so much for your support as God leads me on this adventure!