It started with a migraine, and escalated from there.
I’ve been having one of those days. If you’re a human being, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You find yourself feeling defeated before the day is half over and are prepared to stop trying.
I made a to-do list before going to sleep last night so that I would remember all of the things I wanted to accomplish today. It was a pretty significant list. It’s probably a little sad that I was excited to get to it…
Truthfully, this day started with a big decision I have had to make over the past couple days. Several things have happened, and in short, I had to decide if I was going to leave Honduras on the 19th of August, or stay for another 7 weeks. As I have talked about in the past couple of posts, I am ready to return to Ohio. I have realized that I planned my life around Honduras, without first seeking God. Now my dreams and heart for this country are changing.
So I basically came to the conclusion, that if this isn’t where I am supposed to be, then why am I still here?
I had to make a decision, and I didn’t have very much time to decide.
After a lot of prayer, thought and lists, I made a decision.
We were having parent meetings yesterday after classes and I went to them knowing that I was going to finish the rest of these 3 months. I made a commitment and I wanted to stick to it.
I woke up this morning at seven o’clock, due to a migraine. I wasn’t able to sleep after that. I had my devotional time, and pulled out my computer to do some writing. I needed to take medication for my migraine, but also needed to eat first. I was nauseous from the migraine, therefore I couldn’t eat yet. This migraine left me to sitting in bed, eyeing over Pinterest and reading. Meanwhile, my to-do list was sitting on my night table, just staring at me, waiting to be started.
Finally, around ten, I got up and made french toast. Took some medication and was feeling prepared to clean and work. I had to tell a few people about my decision to stay first, and that was a difficult time. Some of those conversations are what motivated me to get working. Cleaning is good for my thinking process. I have realized that I need to stop looking for the support and approval of others. Matthew 6:33 says, ” Seek first God’s kingdom and what God wants. Then all your other needs will be met as well” (NCV). I need to stop worrying about the decisions I make, as long as they are pleasing to God. He will provide for my needs, as long as I am seeking Him first.
So my day truly started moving. I cleaned my bathroom (shower included, which is quite a chore), did the dishes, cleaned and swept my bedroom, and tidied my living room. The problem was that I had the water running in my pila so that I could later do laundry, although I didn’t feel like doing it. Once I got going on my list, I forgot about the pila. I was in the middle of doing dishes and my thoughts were flowing freely when I started to hear my name being called. Then I heard a knock on the door and I finally went to answer it.
Luckily, I have awesome neighbors who saw it and came to turn it off. Water all over the floor outside my apartment and others, and running through spouts to the second floor. Praise God I live in a place where things dry quickly! I face-palmed several times and went back to the dishes beginning to laugh a little bit.
With all this water, it left me feeling obligated to do laundry. As I was doing laundry outside, my fan flipped a folder of my students’ tests over inside, and papers were now covering my floor. I also managed to take a chunk of skin out of my index finger while scrubbing a towel in the pila.
It is now four o’clock, and I’m honestly surprised at how much I got accomplished today. I didn’t think I would get too much done, but God helped me through it.
I think God was just trying to make me laugh. Reminding me that life is too short to be worried or stressed. To enjoy every moment.
I decided to stay for many reasons, but today I add another one. To make memories. I’m not sure I’m ever going to get the chance to live in a developing country for 3 months again. I want to be able to tell my children someday about this adventure, the things that God taught me and the ridiculous things that happened (like practically flooding my apartment building).
Days like this are going to happen in life, and it is so important to remember to continue to praise God anyways. It’s not easy, but it sure is humbling.
It’s going to be a challenge to stay here, and I am so blessed to have some very special friends who support me and are wanting to be here for me no matter what.
Worst case scenario is that these next two months are miserable, which once it’s over, it’s over. (and I truly don’t think they will be miserable). At least I can truly know that this isn’t what God has for me.
Most days leave me exhausted, but each morning I am renewed in Christ. He reminds me of His promises and blessings throughout the day and keeps me going.
If you think to, please send a prayer to heaven for me. Each one is much appreciated.
I hope you have a very blessed day!