The other morning I was taking my brother and his best friend to a bus stop in Cleveland. It was early and my brain hadn’t started working to its full ability. My brother and I were having random conversation when he asks if there were any updates on boys. I said no and he responded with a saddened, “awe..” to which I retorted, “why?” He then realized how quickly people apologize or are sad for you when they find out you are still single.
Why do we do this? I know I’ve done it, and I definitely know I’ve heard it. Why can’t we instead rejoice for all the amazing things God may be doing in a single person’s life?
This is something that has always bothered me.
I’m not sure I can count on my hands how many times I’ve heard, “I’m sorry you’re still single” and “You’re so young..you have time” within a single breathe! The problem I have with this is that, for the most part, I’m content with being single. I’ve been single my entire life, and I kinda like it. I like the freedoms that come with it. I like that I’m able to use this time to learn spiritual disciplines and step further into faith. (And I love that I don’t have to buy gifts for an extra someone on holidays!)
I’m not going to list all the great things about being single, because there are already plenty of resources out there. I also recognize the many great things about being in a relationship. And don’t get me wrong, I want those too! Whenever the time is right, I’m very much so looking forward to being in a relationship with a man, having God as the foundation.
So please, don’t treat single people like they should be in a rush to find someone and settle down. There are too many people out there who have settled for less already. Don’t tell us that we’re young and have lots of time; some of us have wanted marriage for years and there is nothing wrong with that.
Being single is not a disease and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with us.
Quit telling us that it’s okay to be single and that we should also be getting married within one conversation. Instead, try asking us what God is doing in our lives. Ask about where we’re serving and how we’re furthering the Kingdom. Strive to know our hearts, not our relationship status’.
When I’m no longer single, I’m sure you’ll here about it. When the right person comes along, I’m sure you’ll hear about it. When I get a ring on my finger, I’m sure you’ll hear about it. The same goes for the many other singles my age.
God is doing so much more in my life than giving me a love life worth talking about. God has called me to so much more than to sit and wallow in my singleness; He has given me (and each of you) the greatest call we could ever respond to! So join me in going into the world and making disciples! And help us singles out by asking how God is moving, rather than who we have our eye on.
Have a blessed day!