I read an article the other day that broke my heart. I’m not referencing it here because I don’t write for the sake of arguing or even defending my faith. I write out of the desire to share truth in a world blinded by so many lies.
This article talked about the issues that happened to a woman who waited until marriage to have sex. She stayed a virgin and when things didn’t pan out as she had hoped after her wedding day, she blamed it on the church and regretted her decision to wait until marriage. First off, I would like to say that a decision to wait until marriage to have sex should not only be a personal decision, but it also is not designed by the church, it is designed by God. Secondly, being a virgin should not be our identity, but being a child of Christ should be. It truly made me sad that this woman was not only raised in a church that put her viriginity on a pedestal and let it define who she was, but that she connected that part of her life with the church and not Christ.
I have nothing to back up my ideas other than faith and my belief in the Bible. I also know that writing something on this topic is opening myself up to many negative responses, and I’m okay with that.
I was raised in the church, and although sex and waiting has been encouraged and talked about, it was never created as an idol. In a society where sex is the norm, staying pure until marriage is rare. It’s even becoming acceptable in the church.
It breaks my heart to see that women, even girls, are not able to find love and affection in any other way. They too easily give of themselves, without understanding just how much they are actually giving.
Staying pure goes beyond sex, it includes emotions as well. Although I’m still a virgin, I am the first to admit that I have given of my emotions and heart too freely. The Bible says we should protect our hearts (Proverbs 4:23), but we all have a God-shaped hole in our heart and we will try to fill it with anything that comes our way.
I hate that the enemy has gotten such a strong grip on our generation. He has gotten us to believe that if we just give of ourselves, we will be satisfied. What is so unfortunate, is that it never fills the hole in our hearts.
I’m 21, single and have never really been in a relationship. I’m the Moses of this generation, because I don’t have much experience in this department, so maybe I have it all wrong. But I also know that as a young person, I’m able to and should be an example (1Timothy 4:12). If we as Christians are not living as the Bible calls us to, then what makes us any different than the world?
You see, abstaining from sex until marriage is not an identity, and it shouldn’t even be tied to the church. If you’re remaining a virgin for the sake of praise from others, then you’ve got it completely wrong. As I’ve said on so many other topics, it always comes back to the heart.
God created you sacred, pure and you are His child, His artwork. Forget all the tactics that are used to push people towards abstinence, and simply bask in the fact that you are a masterpiece. Would you take the Mona Lisa to the beach and set it in the sand? Would you take a Van Gogh piece and lay it on your lap while eating spaghetti?
Then why would you take a masterpiece God created, which is invaluable, and give it away so freely?
Sex is prevalent in our culture. You can hardly turn on a show or movie without it being referenced or included. The biggest struggle is to understand that it was created as something sacred. Sex is a sin (1 Corinthians 6:18, Hebrews 13:10, Matthew 15:19). There are no ‘if’s or ‘but’s about it.
It’s sad that this woman had a bad experience, but I think it’s worse that this is publicly displayed. I can’t even imagine the many lies that are filling the heads of young women everywhere who happen upon this article. They instantly question their decisions, or believe that sex is not sacred or giving of self.
My prayer is that Jesus would prevail in this generation. That sex before marriage would no longer be the norm. That women and girls would see themselves as beautiful and precious treasures to be discovered, not a toy to be used and left behind.
There are so many blurred lines in our culture, and the difference between a God-fearing woman, and non-Christian woman is becoming far to small. We should be honoring our bodies as the masterpieces God created them to be. We should be waiting for the man that desires to protect us as if we are precious treasures. We should be desiring more than what the world has to offer, because we have a God who can offer so much more. He will fill the hole in your heart, and He is the only thing that can.
Have a blessed day!