Sex and God

Sex & God

I read an article the other day that broke my heart. I’m not referencing it here because I don’t write for the sake of arguing or even defending my faith. I write out of the desire to share truth in a world blinded by so many lies. 

This article talked about the issues that happened to a woman who waited until marriage to have sex. She stayed a virgin and when things didn’t pan out as she had hoped after her wedding day, she blamed it on the church and regretted her decision to wait until marriage. First off, I would like to say that a decision to wait until marriage to have sex should not only be a personal decision, but it also is not designed by the church, it is designed by God. Secondly, being a virgin should not be our identity, but being a child of Christ should be. It truly made me sad that this woman was not only raised in a church that put her viriginity on a pedestal and let it define who she was, but that she connected that part of her life with the church and not Christ. 

I have nothing to back up my ideas other than faith and my belief in the Bible. I also know that writing something on this topic is opening myself up to many negative responses, and I’m okay with that.

I was raised in the church, and although sex and waiting has been encouraged and talked about, it was never created as an idol. In a society where sex is the norm, staying pure until marriage is rare. It’s even becoming acceptable in the church. 

It breaks my heart to see that women, even girls, are not able to find love and affection in any other way. They too easily give of themselves, without understanding just how much they are actually giving. 

Staying pure goes beyond sex, it includes emotions as well. Although I’m still a virgin, I am the first to admit that I have given of my emotions and heart too freely. The Bible says we should protect our hearts (Proverbs 4:23), but we all have a God-shaped hole in our heart and we will try to fill it with anything that comes our way. 

I hate that the enemy has gotten such a strong grip on our generation. He has gotten us to believe that if we just give of ourselves, we will be satisfied. What is so unfortunate, is that it never fills the hole in our hearts. 

I’m 21, single and have never really been in a relationship. I’m the Moses of this generation, because I don’t have much experience in this department, so maybe I have it all wrong. But I also know that as a young person, I’m able to and should be an example (1Timothy 4:12). If we as Christians are not living as the Bible calls us to, then what makes us any different than the world? 

You see, abstaining from sex until marriage is not an identity, and it shouldn’t even be tied to the church. If you’re remaining a virgin for the sake of praise from others, then you’ve got it completely wrong. As I’ve said on so many other topics, it always comes back to the heart. 

God created you sacred, pure and you are His child, His artwork. Forget all the tactics that are used to push people towards abstinence, and simply bask in the fact that you are a masterpiece. Would you take the Mona Lisa to the beach and set it in the sand? Would you take a Van Gogh piece and lay it on your lap while eating spaghetti? 

Then why would you take a masterpiece God created, which is invaluable, and give it away so freely?

Sex is prevalent in our culture. You can hardly turn on a show or movie without it being referenced or included. The biggest struggle is to understand that it was created as something sacred. Sex is a sin (1 Corinthians 6:18, Hebrews 13:10, Matthew 15:19). There are no ‘if’s or ‘but’s about it. 

It’s sad that this woman had a bad experience, but I think it’s worse that this is publicly displayed. I can’t even imagine the many lies that are filling the heads of young women everywhere who happen upon this article. They instantly question their decisions, or believe that sex is not sacred or giving of self.

My prayer is that Jesus would prevail in this generation. That sex before marriage would no longer be the norm. That women and girls would see themselves as beautiful and precious treasures to be discovered, not a toy to be used and left behind. 

There are so many blurred lines in our culture, and the difference between a God-fearing woman, and non-Christian woman is becoming far to small. We should be honoring our bodies as the masterpieces God created them to be. We should be waiting for the man that desires to protect us as if we are precious treasures. We should be desiring more than what the world has to offer, because we have a God who can offer so much more. He will fill the hole in your heart, and He is the only thing that can. 

Have a blessed day!

-Sadie

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Single Sadness

The other morning I was taking my brother and his best friend to a bus stop in Cleveland. It was early and my brain hadn’t started working to its full ability. My brother and I were having random conversation when he asks if there were any updates on boys. I said no and he responded with a saddened, “awe..” to which I retorted, “why?” He then realized how quickly people apologize or are sad for you when they find out you are still single.

Why do we do this? I know I’ve done it, and I definitely know I’ve heard it. Why can’t we instead rejoice for all the amazing things God may be doing in a single person’s life?

This is something that has always bothered me.

I’m not sure I can count on my hands how many times I’ve heard, “I’m sorry you’re still single” and “You’re so young..you have time” within a single breathe! The problem I have with this is that, for the most part, I’m content with being single. I’ve been single my entire life, and I kinda like it. I like the freedoms that come with it. I like that I’m able to use this time to learn spiritual disciplines and step further into faith. (And I love that I don’t have to buy gifts for an extra someone on holidays!)

I’m not going to list all the great things about being single, because there are already plenty of resources out there. I also recognize the many great things about being in a relationship. And don’t get me wrong, I want those too! Whenever the time is right, I’m very much so looking forward to being in a relationship with a man, having God as the foundation.

So please, don’t treat single people like they should be in a rush to find someone and settle down. There are too many people out there who have settled for less already. Don’t tell us that we’re young and have lots of time; some of us have wanted marriage for years and there is nothing wrong with that.

Being single is not a disease and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with us.

Quit telling us that it’s okay to be single and that we should also be getting married within one conversation. Instead, try asking us what God is doing in our lives. Ask about where we’re serving and how we’re furthering the Kingdom. Strive to know our hearts, not our relationship status’.

When I’m no longer single, I’m sure you’ll here about it. When the right person comes along, I’m sure you’ll hear about it. When I get a ring on my finger, I’m sure you’ll hear about it. The same goes for the many other singles my age.

God is doing so much more in my life than giving me a love life worth talking about. God has called me to so much more than to sit and wallow in my singleness; He has given me (and each of you) the greatest call we could ever respond to! So join me in going into the world and making disciples! And help us singles out by asking how God is moving, rather than who we have our eye on.

Have a blessed day!

-Sadie

 

Single Yet Loved

Being single at twenty can be challenging at times.

I know, I’m young…I have all the time in the world.

I’m reminded of this all the time, and if you’re single, I’m sure you are too.

There is nothing wrong with being single at this age.

It doesn’t make you less valuable, and it certainly doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.

At my age, my parents knew they were going to marry each other and both of my brothers knew they were going to marry their, now, wives.

At times I feel the pressure to hurry up and meet the person I will marry. Not that I’m less-than or slow, but just that I should be there, you know?

I then look at all that I’ve experienced to-date and what the next few years entails for me. I see the places I’ve gone and the opportunities I’ve taken, and I’ve realized all the amazing freedoms that come with singleness.

I’m not saying that there is no reason to sit in bed with a tub of ice cream and a cheesy romance and cry (for that is perfectly acceptable). What I am saying is that there are perks to being single that we should take advantage of while we can!

Have you always wanted to travel? Then travel!

Have you ever wanted to teach English in a different country? Then teach!

Have you ever wanted to go on a date, just to go on a date? Then date!

Why is there a rush? Why has our society put this horrible expectation on twenty-somethings to find “the one”?

I get that women have an innate desire to be loved, but we also have an innate desire to love and be loved by God.

Why then, is the Christian population not pushing singles to simply fall in love with God, rather than making them feel less-than because we don’t have someone to hold hands with, or to bring us flowers “just because”.

Every girl wants that, but what every girl truly needs is more of Jesus.

This isn’t anything new. It doesn’t change things. It is simply a reminder that the only love we really need in our lives is God. We don’t need a man, because even the best of men cannot fill this God-shaped hole in our hearts.

Don’t stop watching those chick-flicks, because I get it, they can be addictive. Don’t stop praying for your future husband, because prayer is a powerful thing. Don’t stop desiring to be loved, because, well…you can’t. Don’t stop reading those Christian singles books, because they may come in handy some day!

But do start loving God more.

Start letting Him love you more! Start reading the Bible more, it is His love letter to you! Start basking in His presence as often as possible, and letting Him fill you up!

Have a blessed day!

-Sadie

Completely in Love with Jesus

There are a lot of Christian women out there, including myself, who are settling for less than what God desires for them. I know some of them, I am one of them, therefore I am sure there are plenty more.

We settle for a boy, who has chosen not to grow up and become a man, but to become stationary. We settle for a man who has a relationship with God, but is not willing to lead spiritually. We settle for a guy who doesn’t even love Jesus, because we think he’ll be the only guy to come around and appreciate who we truly are (which is a lie). We settle for a boy who has promised us change, who has “given” his heart to Jesus because of us.

I’ve been there, in every one of those situations, and I understand that it’s not easy to stop settling.

My favorite quote from the Boy Meets Girl series by Louie Giglio is this: “You can’t be united with someone who doesn’t share your heartbeat for the most important thing in the world.” My heart jumps every time I hear those words. It is far to easy to become comfortable with a man who isn’t completely in love with Jesus.

Women were created for relationships, we were created to crave deep, meaningful relationships. It is sewn into the very stitches of our soul. We want to be loved and to feel wanted, by someone, anyone.

So when a handsome “man”, or even a not-so-handsome one, waltzes into your life and attempts to sweep you off your feet, you let them, regardless of where they stand with Jesus.

But how can you build a relationship with someone who doesn’t desire Jesus in the same way that you do? What do you build a relationship like that on?

I’m making a declaration tonight, and my prayer is that others would along with me.

I’m declaring that I will not give my heart to any man who isn’t 100%, completely in love with Jesus, and who is not prepared and willing to lead spiritually. 

I’m done settling for less, not because I deserve more, but because I’m worth more. I’m beginning to understand that waiting on God is not about all of the times He says no, but to those incredible times that He says yes. Those blessings are sure to be far more fulfilling and godly than following after what we desire.

I don’t want a man to sweep me off my feet anymore, but instead one that will seek God in order to find his way to my heart. I want a relationship with God as its foundation, because seriously, if you find someone who is completely in love with Jesus everything else fades into the background. I want that. I want a man that is so wrapped up in Christ, that I can’t see him without first seeing Christ.

Anyways, enough rambling about my wants.

I have made this declaration, to God, to myself and also to any of you who read this.

I want to be held accountable for this because our relationships are some of the most important decisions we make in life. They largely affect who we become, and what we bring into future relationships and all other aspects of our lives.

I truly hope to have inspired you in some way, whether it be about your current relationship or future relationships.

Have a blessed day!

-Sadie