It is only Tuesday, and I am beat.
I’m so tired that I feel as if I shouldn’t even be writing a blog post right now.
Hopefully this all comes out correctly and in a manner that makes sense.
This week was my first one back into work and having a real schedule since I have been back from Honduras. On Sunday night, I was feeling really overwhelmed by the coming week. I felt as if I wasn’t even able, let alone ready, to face it.
I was reminded of the many times I had to completely depend on Christ for strength and courage in Honduras.
Tonight, I’m simply done in. My asthma has been horrible and I’ve slowly been getting sick on top of that. I’ve had headaches on and off all day and currently have a migraine. These are the things I normally live with physically, but now I’m also attempting to process the past three months of my life mentally and emotionally.
Exhausted doesn’t even touch the way I’m feeling tonight. I’m not sure the last time I’ve felt this off, worn out and drained.
I’m sure you’ve been here before.
You’ve probably been in that place that you don’t want to go to bed because you know the morning just brings more exhaustion, yet at the same time, you’re ready to press the restart button.
I could state verse after verse about God being our strength and our inspiration to keep walking, but I understand what it feels like to be in the fire. Sometimes words just aren’t enough.
When I was in Honduras, there were days that I really would not have made it through without Christ. In fact, I look back on my time there and I don’t know how it was actually possible for me to do it. I see God all over that and am completely amazed.
Do it for the reward.
It may seem shallow or selfish, but it’s stated in the bible and I’m almost positive it is God-approved. 2 Chronicles 15:7 says, “But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded (NIV).
Don’t give in to the temptation to quit. Don’t believe satan’s lies that “you aren’t good enough”. Don’t listen to the people who tell you not to.
If anything during my Honduras time, I learned that when you give your all to Jesus and you follow Him endlessly, you will be incredibly blessed.
When I left for Honduras, I was blessed to have my job kept at the local library. I love my job there, especially my co-workers. This was my first “official” job and I have learned so incredibly much from this, but it is not something I want to do for the rest of my life.
While in Honduras, I got offered a job doing content writing and temporary video editing for a good friend of mine for his web design business. Now that I’m back in Ohio, I have been offered a job working as an office aid at Interlink Ministries (and doing some cleaning every week). I then got a small job babysitting two mornings a week.
These are all things that I absolutely adore to do.
I gave up everything to go to Honduras.
In fact, I still have a credit card bill and only $20 to my name because of following God there. Could I be upset that I’m in money trouble even though I follow Him? Sure!
But I see the blessings around me and that answer quickly changes in my heart.
I see the many people who supported me on this journey and are being so incredibly patient with me as I return and slowly adjust. I think of the three incredible jobs I have now and how much I look forward to working. I look at the many opportunities ahead of me and I cannot for a second be upset about my situation.
I am exhausted, I’m done in, and in a way feeling defeated, but the reward is so beyond worth it!
I find this interesting because I wrote a post while I was in Honduras titled, It’s not Easy, But is it Worth it? In this post I wrote, “Sometimes I even wonder why God has me here right now, what is His purpose in all of this.” I look back on that post and the rest of the three months and just smile to myself.
I would do it all again if I could do the same amount of growing and receive the same amount of blessings that I have by the end of it.
See, walking through the fire isn’t about how difficult it may be, don’t let that define you. Walking through the fire is about finding yourself and learning about Christ just a little bit more. It’s about growth and reward.
I don’t know what you’re walking through. It could be difficult relationships. It could be health issues or illness. Maybe you recently lost your job.
Don’t quit walking through the fire.
Don’t let naysayers discourage you.
Don’t let satan get in your head.
Don’t stop trusting God and following Him.
The biggest rewards come from work, they come from the sweat and tears you put into a hard day.
I get that it isn’t easy, I get that it’s exhausting and uncomfortable.
But it is worth it.
God has so much in store for you, just keep on walking!
Have a blessed day!