“Health and Wholeness”

These were the last words prayed over me during Thursday night worship this week.

This man that I barely knew had joined me and a friend during prayer time. Our church is currently walking through becoming a multi-site church and opening a new location. During this time of prayer, I didn’t say much because of my cold and asthma. I wasn’t feeling well and was also overwhelmed by the spirit, so was just resting.

At the end of this all, this same man leaned over and prayed for my sickness to go away and for me to have full health and wholeness. As soon as he turned around in his seat, I began to cry. For the past month my asthma has been bothering me a lot. It has been at least four years since I’ve had these many issues with it.

I used to use my inhaler once every month or two, but I began using it 3 or 4 times a day. For those of you who have asthma, you understand how exhausting it can be to have to baby it. You want to be able to go and do normal things and not think about it, but you know it will always be in the back of your mind.

As soon as this man prayed over me, I was able to truly breathe again. I’m not sure why I continue to be surprised when God works wonders in my health. I don’t doubt His abilities, but I’m surprised every single time.

Since Thursday night, my asthma has not bothered me. I’m still sick with a stuffy nose and itchy throat, but that is nothing when the asthma is faded off. Over the past three weeks, I have been sleeping with three pillows behind me in order to sit up so my lungs aren’t flattened. It has given me some pretty awful back pains. Last night, I was able to sleep laying down on just one pillow.

This man didn’t know I was struggling with stuff beyond the obvious cough and nose-blowing sessions, and yet felt the need to pray over me. It was such an unexpected blessing for me!

I love that God knows exactly what we need in every moment and the way He brings other people in to fulfill those needs.

This week has been extremely tough. I’m still struggling to be present mentally and emotionally. There are days that I feel as though I could completely fall apart at any moment. My life is so full of change, but most of those changes are incredible blessings.

This little work God did in my life on Thursday night was such a highlight for me. It provided that little bit of encouragement to keep going. I’ve been frustrated, disappointed and impatient with myself but I’m trying my best to give myself some grace as I adjust to this new normal.

Thanks for stopping by, and have a blessed day!

-Sadie

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Jesus Heals

I should have been hospitalized, and yet somehow two ibuprofen made it all go away.

I was standing outside the school talking with a few students when I felt the first bite on my right foot. I quickly moved out of the way to avoid getting more. I had been eating an orange and walked back into the school to throw it away. I looked down as I was walking back towards my students and realized the front yard was covered in these ants. They had also covered my feet and were having a feeding frenzy.

During my first few weeks down there I was bit and had swelling in my foot. Almost instantly, I knew that these were the exact same ants that caused that last reaction.

Within the hour I had discovered three bites on my face, along with the many on my feet. My boss took me home where I took a cold shower to release some of the heat and discovered hives all over my body. I took two ibuprofen and posted on Facebook, asking for prayer. God showed me over and over what an enormous and amazing support group I have back here in Ohio.

God gave me this marvelous, calming peace throughout this entire situation, which I did not realize until several days later. It very well could have been my saving grace.

About an hour after taking the ibuprofen, I went to check myself in the mirror and was simply amazed. The heat and redness in my face was gone, and most of the swelling was down there. The hives around the rest of my body were almost completely faded. All that was really left was the swelling in my feet. It doesn’t make any sense. Ibuprofen may have helped some with swelling, but it should not have taken away any other symptoms. God truly is the only answer to any of this.

There were so many people concerned for me and praying for me all around the world! That was almost more of a blessing to me than the actual healing itself.

I’m sure you can remember this, and if not you can read about it in earlier posts, God healed me the week before this trip happened. I had burned my hand, pretty severely, exactly a week before going on this adventure to Honduras. I was told I would have to be extremely cautious of infection and that I would most likely have scarring. Less than a week afterwards, my hand looked as if nothing had happened, besides some dead skin. Not possible!

My allergic reaction, mostly likely anaphylactic shock considering the symptoms, was severe. If I had not been as calm as I was, I’m sure it would have been even worse. There was actually one point that I began to get a little panicked and could feel my breathing getting worse, I prayed and felt it return to normal.

This post has been needing written for a while now, because although this healing was physical and visible, it represents so much more.

God did some serious work on my heart and in my life while I was gone. He taught me things that I’m not sure I would have learned without that time. I look back on what I did and the giant leap I took to go down and teach for three months, and I’m simply amazed. There is absolutely no way I could have walked through that without Christ.

My prayer during my last couple weeks of the trip was that the changes in my life and heart would be visible and truly felt by those in Ohio. I have talked to several people, some close and some not, and God definitely answered those prayers.

I have been told several times that others can feel a peace surrounding me, and I have also been told be a few people that they are so glad to see me happy and joyful again.

It makes my heart explode.

I walked through the fire while in Honduras, I mean I dealt with some serious and intense spiritual warfare. I pushed through my past mistakes and hurts and came out on the other end. There were times I couldn’t see a light at the end, but kept moving in complete darkness anyway.

I learned through all of this that God will constantly be moving in you if you allow Him to. If you are seeking Him and pursuing Him, He will be there. Every single time that I felt to weak to make it through the day, He was my strength. Every time that I asked “Why?”, I felt Him gently whisper, “I am”. Both times that I was in desperate places physically, He healed me.

I have never truly questioned God and His power, but after this experience and everything that happened, there is no way I could deny who He is.

So here I stand at the end, victorious. Someday I will read through my journal and be in awe of what God worked in and through me. I’m not finished yet, I have so far to go and so much learning to do. This is just the beginning of the transformation in my life.

Since my trip, God has been working some incredible opportunities around me. He has blessed me far beyond what I could have imagined. I didn’t deserve any of this, and yet He has gratefully blessed me with it.

You can still see most of the bites on my feet, and every so often they sting. I actually panic because it feels as though I’m being bit again. It not only reminds me of God’s healing in that time, but also His work in me the rest of the trip. It’s a reminder of how powerful and great He truly is!

I guess the lesson in all of this is that even when things seem at their worst, or that you can’t catch a break, keep fumbling around in the dark. I promise you that the light will find you. I understand how frustrating, annoying and absolutely disappointing it can be to be in that position.

God is so much bigger than that, though!

He can not only heal your wounds on the outside, but He is a God who works wonders on your heart.

Let Him into that!

Have a blessed day!

-Sadie

Wounds

When you give someone a piece of your heart, and they take advantage of it, it leaves a wound. When you set expectations in your heart, they take over a small part, and when those expectations aren’t met, they become wounds. Many of us internalize wounds, some without even realizing it. I know that is what has happened in my heart. I simply accepted wounds as wounds and didn’t realize the incredible power in handing them to Christ.

As I prayed about my wounds this morning, I had this vision.  Each wound that I prayed for, I imagined literally taking pieces of my heart and actually handing them over to God. Some pieces bigger than others, some look more healed than others, yet all wounds. It left me with a heart that was disfigured and much smaller.

Fortunately, that isn’t the end of the story.

God then grabs what is left of my heart, and holds it in His hands. As He’s holding it, my heart is becoming whole again. It doesn’t remain deformed, ugly, or useless. God renews it, He transforms what once was distorted into something whole and beautiful.

We often hear this in reference to sins, which is true. Yet, how often do we realize that wounds can and do hinder us if we don’t hand them over to God? They change us. They affect our relationships, our attitude, our beliefs. Most of us learn to accept them as part of who we are, but it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s shouldn’t be that way!

God did a lot of work on my heart this morning. It was not instant healing, but the process has begun. I can feel it. I can feel the bitterness, hurt, anger and frustration (that I didn’t even realize was there) leaving my heart and it being renewed with true God-given joy.

What I find amazing is that God wants these things for us. He doesn’t want to see us in pain. He doesn’t want us to simply accept wounds. He doesn’t want us to internalize these hurts. He cares enough about you to want to provide healing (Psalm 147:3). He already knows all of your wounds, but giving them to Him and letting him transform you is so incredibly important.

We often look at 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, which states, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” in reference to sexual purity. Yet, when we internalize wounds, we are not treating ourselves as priceless, God-created temples. Wounds fester and affect us, they change us. They create anger, bitterness, negative thoughts, discouragement and these things appear in our every day lives. They do not glorify God! A body that glorifies God begins in the heart. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

What wounds have you internalized? What wounds do you hold on to? What wounds can God take and make beautiful? What wounds can He use for His purpose?

Pray that He would make you aware of your wounds, and that He would transform them. The process is long and may even be painful, but it is also beautiful.

Have a blessed day!

-Sadie